always a bridezilla, never a rational human being

7 Mar

A small piece of the idea to begin this blog started forming while mulling over some of the thoughts that have been plaguing me the past few months.  You see, I just got married in November and I’ve been coming to grips with that whole “post-wedding blues” thing you sometimes read about but promise will never happen to you (“How lame!”…”Don’t they have lives…?” and such) until you find yourself one evening wearing your veil, sprawled across your couch, tears springing from your eyes while your first dance song plays in the background and a slide show of your wedding photos moves slowly across your computer screen.

Okay, so it wasn’t THAT bad, but I was on the verge.  Crap.  “How lame!  Don’t I have a life?”…and such…

running from reality! (photo by photomuse)

Make it stop!

I was not a bridezilla.  I wasn’t someone who became so overtaken and completely obsessed with my wedding. I had my moments but that’s just my personality, which has absolutely no correlation to the fact that I was getting married.  This is all to say that this DISEASE (for lack of a better word) can happen to any of us when we’re least suspecting.  I even made a conscious effort to NOT get crazy and look where it has landed me.

To be honest, on the actual day, an eerie and serene calm came over me. My wedding day was amazing and wonderful and…dare I say… perfect in my opinion (more on this later).  But, the key word here is “day” — ONE DAY.  That’s all she wrote.  So, when that perfect day is over, I’ve returned from my perfect honeymoon, and I’m back to reality, I’m inevitably left (consciously or subconsciously) waiting for what “perfect” thing is going to come next.  Yes, I love my husband and I’m so excited for our life together but seriously y’all…when’s the next big party I get to throw?

(:

[Can we PLEASE blame society on this, because that would be a LOT easier than dealing with my own issues…]

I’m using my wedding as an example, but when I reflect on it I think this logic might apply to other big “perfect” things, as well. Graduation, the day before the first day at a new job, giving birth (can we just momentarily suspend reality and pretend that’s perfect?), a first date that gives you butterflies…and so on.

If we put all our stock in these big events and moments, where does that leave us the other 364 days of the year?

I may sound/be cynical but I’m also hopeful I can figure out how to find the “perfect”  in the small ways it exists each day and to let go of (or celebrate and/or laugh at) the not so perfect moments that inevitably find their way in.

Now, if I could only find that effing crystal glass we got as a wedding gift to raise for an optimistic toast…


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One Response to “always a bridezilla, never a rational human being”

  1. Zack March 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    This is my favorite post yet 🙂

    -Groomzilla

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